My parents’ 50th wedding anniversary is today and it got me thinking how they’ve managed to have a happy, lasting marriage for 50 years. So I gave them a call and asked them. Here’s what they shared with me.
My Dad’s List:
- Open communication
- Trusting your spouse
You won’t be wondering what your spouse is doing if there is trust in the relationship.
- Having a symbiotic relationship
It can’t be a one way street because only one person will be satisfied while the other person is suppressed. It has to be a two way street where both people are satisfied.
- Proper understanding of your partner (their background and how they came to be). You need to be able to understand your spouse’s perspective and understand their likes and dislikes.
- Pray for a good relationship between husband and wife
- Be forgiving
Everyone has faults and you must have a forgiving heart. No matter how hard you try, you always make mistakes.
My Mom’s List:
- Be prayerful
Put God above everybody and everything else follows. You need proper guidance from God.
- Open communication
What you don’t like in him you tell him, and what he doesn’t like in you he will tell you. You both can’t read minds. You have to correct your flaws and vice versa. Don’t hide anything even on money matters. Everything is open between the both of you. No secret accounts, etc.
- Having the same background helps
Marriage is already hard and if your spouse is from your same background (financial and educational) there will be less issues to disagree upon.
- Be helpful especially during difficult times
Financial crisis will arise and so you have to help each other and not be selfish.
And that’s how their marriage has lasted for this long.
As one of their kids I’m glad they have been able to remain married and work through their problems during the good and bad times. Over the years I’ve seen their roles and personality change and they seem to adapt to each other very well. Sometimes I hear them arguing but arguing is ok because that’s a form of communication too. It goes to show that no marriage is perfect but if you work through the solutions together and try not to go to sleep angry with each other, things eventually work out. Their marriage is something I’d like to strive for. They are living proof that marriage can work.
Happy Anniversary mom and dad! I love you very much. Thank you for being wonderful and supportive parents. To having many more anniversaries to come.