Yeah so I’m saying it loudly, “Everyone needs a therapist,” even if you think you don’t need one. There’s always room for improvement. Last week I had a therapist appointment and personally I didn’t feel like driving to Denver to see my therapist (25 miles) away. It has been a month since my last appointment and frankly I was busy working on a website and felt like I didn’t have the time to drive and talk for an hour and then drive back home. That’s two hours of my time gone which I wasn’t willing to give up. So that’s me rationalizing… which are excuses as to why I shouldn’t go.
But in the end, I made the drive to Denver even if I was 10 minutes late. When I got out of my session, I was so glad I went. I guess it’s like exercising for me. It’s something I dread but when you get through it you feel much better.
I think everyone needs a therapist because they help you assess what’s going on in your life. My time with the therapist is basically me spilling things out I didn’t even think was bothering me. Basically stuff that is eating up inside of me. I’m that person who keeps a lot inside without even realizing it (exactly like a guy). Granted I’m too busy at home to really contemplate what is going on. I’m that workaholic looking to check off my next task on my to do list.
I didn’t even know that working on the website last week was pretty much taking a lot of my time and it was affecting me and my family. I’ve mentioned before that working can pose a big problem for me since I’m that person who likes to finish what I start. Granted no one tells you to finish a website in two days. But that’s me. Working until I can’t think straight. Forgetting to eat because I’m so immersed on the computer. Pushing myself to finish because there are so many things to do that I’m trying to finish the website as fast as I can.
I even complained to my therapist that there isn’t enough hours in a day to get through all the things I need and want to accomplish for the week. He made me see that there will always be something to do even when I finish this website or another task. He told me that my problem wasn’t that I wasn’t organized. My problem was that I really needed to get some structure at home since I was so off-balance with my work-family life. Again, when I’m accomplishing stuff with work, I always lose balance with family life. My BIG dilemma.
CREATING STRUCTURE AT HOME
How do you do that? I basically have to create work hours for myself at home. I haven’t really tried it yet since when I’m done with kid tasks in the morning, I basically plop my butt around 8:30am at my desk and don’t really leave until I’m really hungry or have to pick up my daughter from school at 3:45pm. At 4pm I get back to work in my office and come out for dinner and work right after dinner until early morning. And repeat. Again I get so focused on my tasks that I don’t realize the time. My cousin says that I “get laser focused on something” to me it’s basically me “in the zone” of working.
BE AWARE OF YOUR FLAWS
Now that I know that I’ve been so focused for the past couple of weeks, I’m trying to slow down. Even eating lunch is a start. When I’m working eating is the last thing I think about. I find that when I catch myself working too much, I’ll try to take a break. I still have a ways to go with learning to stop working. But acknowledging my flaw of working too much helps me try to slow down. I’ve slowed down this week more so than last week since I launched this website (PropertiesBySisters.com). Website launches are always a busy time for me and I like to finish it as soon as I can but it does take its toll on me, especially sleep. I feel more sorry for my family having to deal with me especially if I’m in a not so great mood. So you could say I’m working on it. 🙂
Yes, I had lunch today, but around 2:30pm. So that’s baby steps. I’m acknowledging that I’m moving forward with taking breaks. I need to learn to slow down with work and try not ignore my family.
WHY I LOVE MY THERAPIST
- He helps me put things in perspective.
- He can listen to me babble for an hour (yes I’m paying him to listen but at least I get a professional opinion).
- He helps me realize things that I want to work on and offers good, sound advice for my situation (yes, you can save some money by talking to friends but I sometimes like getting advice from someone who has heard everything under the sun).
- He keeps me stable since he’s my outlet for things I unintentionally keep bottled up inside of me.
So the secret is out. I see a therapist and I think you should too 🙂 The key is to make sure to find a therapist that you are comfortable with. Once I found the right therapist, I haven’t looked back and am thankful that he’s in my life since I’ve been able to move forward in my life and tackle issues that I didn’t think I could face.
Do you see a therapist? If you don’t, would you consider seeing one?